Then, disaster struck. This person decided to Google me, Kathryn, and found out I occasionally pull Tinder experiments like this — and in a few choice words, called me out on it.
In fact, I was currently engaged in another experiment where I had deleted all my personal dating apps for a month (for the record, I had gotten permission from our sex and relationships editor to re-download Tinder for my presidential candidates experiment, so long as I promised to only use it in character, and not for my own personal amusement).
I didn’t want to break character, so I did what Trump would do. Dismiss his accusations entirely, and contradict my earlier statements.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, seems to sum up next page just how exactly Donald Trump made it this far in the election.
Person Number 3:
He didn’t have anything else to say, after that. I figured he knew I was talking through Donald Trump, and at first thought it was funny, but then when he couldn’t decide if I was joking or not, he dropped me. I get it. I didn’t take Trump seriously at first either.
Person Number 4:
*Facepalm* Was this person completely oblivious? Completely in denial? Did he live in some blissful alternate universe where nobody had yet been encouraged by a potential world leader to «knock the crap out of» First Amendment-wielding protesters? Could he take me there? Could we be soul mates? Could we just pretend like none of this was real?
Person Number 5:
Only time will tell if Trump’s ridiculous rhetoric will win the Republican nomination, but it did win over this person’s heart. Meanwhile, I turned off my phone and went to bed. This experiment, suddenly, made me want to give up on both.
The Final Tally:
By the end of this experiment, I had traded messages with dozens of D.C. denizens, and the score looked like this:
Unlike in politics, there could be no clear winner in this game. Of the three candidates, people usually figured out my Hillary game the fastest — although I had suspected Trump would be the most obvious. Weirdly, people seemed drawn to his confidence. What I was saying was absurd, especially in the context of dating apps, and many of the guys I talked to did pick up on the joke after a few back and forths — but even then they weren’t entirely willing to drop it. Our fascination with Donald Trump, inexplicable though it may be, is real.
As for Bernie? As likable as he comes off in his campaign, his ideas don’t translate too well in the dating space. People just don’t really know what to say to the guy. And instead of asking questions back, they’d rather just. find someone else to talk to. That being said, I did have one person ask for my phone number, but it was only after I mentioned my fear of media conglomerates. I just feel like that’s a shaky foundation to build a relationship on.
And then there’s Hillary. Her quotes were the easiest for me to use, but they were the lowest performers of the group. Once people saw what I was up to, the conversation pretty much died. But to borrow one more quote from the Democratic candidate: «The worst thing that can happen in a democracy — as well as in an individual’s life — is to become cynical about the future and lose hope.» I’d find a match yet.
By the end of our conversation, I honestly couldn’t tell if this person was into me (Hillary) or not. Then again, that’s pretty much the Hillary narrative, right? When all was said and done, however, I think I (Hillary) made some really good points.
