Dont feel like you have to rush straight into dirty talk. Instead, ease into it by asking your partner about their day, suggests Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist in Honolulu. Hearing about their lunchtime burrito may seem seriously unsexy, but it sets up a natural opportunity to change a boring conversation into an exciting one. Think of it like an actual date: You’d probably chat a bit before taking your clothes off, right?
10. Then, up the ante.
When it’s your turn to talk about your day, start hashing out moments when your partner crossed your mind, including details about specific steamy ideas or fantasies that popped up during the hours leading up to your call.
11. Make yourself comfortable.
As you start talking, get situated in a place and way that youre physically comfortable-and share these play-by-play details with your partner.
For example: «I got so hot thinking about this, I just took off my clothes. I’m lying on my bed right now and loving the fresh feeling of the sheets on my body. the only thing that’s missing is you.» Just an idea!
12. Get wordy-like, really wordy.
Overall, the more descriptive you are, the more your partner will be able to visualize your sexual fantasy and join in, Brito explains.
She also suggests taking the time to describe each others erogenous zones by using a variety of synonyms. If this means prepping ahead of time by crafting a bit of a script or putting together a list of verbs and adjectives, then do just that. (No, it’s not weird.)
To convey what you want, start off by using fill-in-the-blank sentences (yes, Mad Libs style). «I love it when you _____ my _____,» or «I wish I could _____ to your _____ right now.»
Simply put: Toys can be a great way to not only help you get off during phone sex, but also give you something to, ya know, talk about. Spell out exactly how youre using, say, your vibrator (where you’re putting it, how hard you’re pressing it onto your clitoris, how fast you’re moving it, etc.), and how it makes you feel.
«Allow your partner to hear what’s happening,» says Howard. «Let your partner hear the buzzing of the toy, and tell them what you wish they could be doing with it.»
Consider phone sex an opportunity to play around with new masturbation techniques, too. Instead of just focusing on your clitoris the entire time, try stimulating the nipples, labia, and/or vaginal opening.
14ment as you experiment.
This takes some getting used to, but yep, phone sex requires a level of narration that you don’t need during IRL sex. Single Parent dating app So, as you’re playing around with those new masturbation techniques above, do *not* keep the play-by-play to yourself! Thats definitely something to add to the conversation, says Howard. Try something like, «I’m touching myself here and here, but I wish it were to you.»
15. Listen to your partner-and to your body.
By paying close attention to everything your partner says and does-including their breathing patterns-youll have a better idea of whether or not youre hitting the right buttons.
The quicker the pace of their breath, the more likely they are on the verge of finishing, says Stephanie Cathcart, professional phone-sex operator and founder of Total Lip Service. Noticing how excited they’re getting should (hopefully) turn you on even more.
16. When in doubt, moan.
On that note, dont be afraid to let out your own deep breaths and moans to cue your partner in on where you are and what works for you.
